best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
