I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
