He had one of those small greek statue penises
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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