at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
