walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
