does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
