Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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