He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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