this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
