what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
