She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The feeling are messing with the penis
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
