dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
