Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
