I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
