In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
