Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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