So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Send help, water and tortillas.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
