I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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