Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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