apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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