It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize