just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
