So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
