I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
