I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
