So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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