Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
