You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
