She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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