dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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