Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
