Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
