Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
