I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize