I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We just shotgunned beers for America
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
