508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
