You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
