he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
