Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
