Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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