her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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