So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
