hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
