it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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