Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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