Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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