I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
