don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
