he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
