Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
