And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize