Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
