chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
