I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
last night I used snow as a chaser
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