Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I would ride that face into the sunset
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
