Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize