I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
