Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
