i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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